2 Communication Styles To Avoid When Working With Executives
A common source of frustration shared by CEO clients centers on how others communicate with them. What are they experiencing? Here’s a sampling: Too much irrelevant detail, not enough insight, unproductive discussions with no clear outcomes, members of the team who lack curiosity, meetings that missed the point or focused on the wrong issues, leaders who do too much talking, not enough talking, not enough listening, materials that aren’t C-level ready. It’s a long list and given that the average executive isn’t shy about sharing what works and what doesn’t, there is plenty we can do to set ourselves up for success. Not sure where to start? Consider two communication styles to avoid:
Avoid The Unknown
Executives usually expect leaders to speak up, make themselves heard, and proactively raise ideas in the right settings. Instead, they could get this: The Unknown. The Unknown style reflects these thoughts: It’s not a good time to speak up; I am waiting for the right moment to weigh in. Unfortunately, the moment never seems to arrive, particularly in larger meetings or group settings, where the Unknown’s quiet, deferential style may get crowded out. As a result, it’s hard to know their perspective or if they can hold their own in a room with senior leaders.
It isn’t uncommon to hear the Unknown say things like, “I’m not the kind of person who talks just to hear themselves talk,” to explain their approach. They’ll tell you that it’s hard to get a word in edgewise in meetings or that they don’t like to interrupt others. Fair enough, and sometimes being a quiet listener is the right move. Done too often, however, it becomes a problem, because senior leaders – introverts and extroverts alike – are expected to weigh in, share insights, ask questions, challenge, make recommendations, and have a point of view in a range of areas.
What To Do If You’re An ‘Unknown’
Unknowns may have great ideas and value to share, but their style can prevent others from seeing it. For Unknowns, preparation before meetings or other larger group settings is essential. Some may need to prepare what to say, and also when and how to say it, so moments don’t pass by without taking the opportunity to weigh in. Here’s something else to consider if you’re an Unknown: Let your guard down, notice where you may be playing it too safe. Lower the bar for yourself, let go of the idea that you must only offer brilliant ideas in meetings or be an expert in an area in order to earn the right to speak up.
Avoid The ‘Knower’
The Knower displays a style authors in Harvard Business Review describe as “chronic certainty.” It may be tempting to think that this style belongs to other people, but the need to be right is hard-wired into all of us, a byproduct of our evolution as humans to exert control over our environment and results. Less about displaying arrogance or lacking in humility, the Knower is more often driven by a deep belief in what is right, correct, and true in a given situation. Particularly when challenged or questioned in areas where Knowers have deep subject matter expertise or passion about an issue, they may react quickly, providing longer answers than needed and overexplaining to make a point, instead of demonstrating curiosity, or exploring options. You might notice they struggle to listen or dismiss input from others, rather than ask questions or consider other possibilities.
What To Do If You’re A Knower
To get at this style, start by noticing whether you default to a style of “persuading harder” as a way to influence. When the CEO questions or challenges your ideas, resist the urge to defend, dig in, or overexplain. Consider whether you interpret questions from other executives as code for, “Your idea is wrong.” Rather, interpret a challenging executive as someone who needs to feel more comfortable, confident, and clear about what you’re sharing so they are better able see the value in your ideas and fully support them.
